The First Thing You Need Before You Ask Anyone for Money

There's a scene in the animated film An American Tail that I love and it "sings in my head" from time to time.

Fievel (the mouse) and Tiger (the cat) sit together and discover that they love all the same things. They just started talking honestly about what they cared about, and they kept landing in the same place.

The song they sing is called "A Duo." And every time I watch it, I think — that's it. That's what fundraising actually is.

The Energy Underneath Every First Ask

When you step into a nonprofit for the first time — or when you have just founded one — something happens that's easy to underestimate later.

You believe.

You believe the problem is real.
You believe your organization is the right response to it.
And somewhere underneath all the logistics and the budget lines and the board meetings, you believe that other people, if they really understood what you understood, would want to be part of solving it too.

That belief is not something to professionalize away.

It's your starting point for growing support for your organization. And it's more powerful than any fundraising tactic I've ever seen.

You are not trying to convince anyone of anything. You are looking for the people who already care — and giving them a way to act on it.

Your supporters don't need to be recruited. They need to be recognized.

Start With the People Already Leaning In

I use something called the alignment ladder in my work with nonprofit leadership teams.

It's not complicated. Before you reach out to strangers, you look at the people already around you — your board, your volunteers, your neighbors, your longtime community partners — and you ask a quieter question.

Not "who has money?"

Not even "who can I ask?"

But: who already believes what we believe?

Those people are closer than you think. They're the ones who lean forward when you describe your work. Who say things like "I've always thought someone should be doing this" or "my family has been touched by exactly this." They're not waiting to be convinced. They're waiting to be invited.

Your first fundraising conversations aren't cold calls. They're recognitions. You're looking for that agreement energy — the lean in, the light in someone's eyes when your mission lands. And when you find it, it's genuinely exciting. Because you're not pitching anymore. You're sharing something you love with someone who already loves it too

Once you start looking for that — for the lean, for the light in someone's eyes when your mission lands — you'll find it faster than you expect.

What the First Conversation Actually Sounds Like

You're not presenting. You're not closing. You're simply sharing something you believe, and you're genuinely curious whether it lands for the person across from you.

It might sound something like: "We started this because we kept seeing teachers who didn't know where to turn to for help on handling the trauma kids were bringing into the classroom— and no one was doing anything about it. I'd love to tell you more. And I'd love to know if this is something that has impacted you or people you love."

Then you listen.

You're not looking for a yes to a dollar amount. Not yet. You're looking for the moment when the person across from you starts nodding before you've finished. When they fill in a sentence you didn't complete. When they say — in whatever words they use — I care about that too.

That moment is the beginning of a fundraising relationship.

From there, the ask becomes an invitation. "Would you want to be part of this?" lands in an entirely different way when the person already knows they care.

Give yourself three to five conversations like this before you expect a gift. Let the recognition come first. Move outward slowly — from the people who know your work, to their networks, to the broader community. The relationship opens the door. The ask just walks through it.

You Can Begin Where You Are

If you're just starting out — or if you've been at this a while and somewhere along the way it started feeling like pushing a boulder uphill — this is what I most want you to hold onto.

You don't need the whole system before you take the first step.

The system gets built around the relationships. And the relationships start with belief.

Remember why you started. Reconnect with the problem you're trying to solve and the quiet certainty that it's worth solving. Then go find the people in your circle who feel it too.

That's your duo. That's where fundraising begins.

Not with a campaign. Not with a database. With two people who care about the same thing, finding each other.

If you want to walk through the full roadmap — from that first conversation to a sustainable, system-supported fundraising program — the free Roadmap Class is a good next step. Join here.

A few questions worth sitting with:

• Who in your current circle is already leaning toward your mission — and have you given them a real invitation yet?

• What would it feel like to approach your next fundraising conversation as a recognition rather than a pitch?

• What's one conversation you could have this week, starting exactly where you are?